Best Jokes

A woman working in a laboratory is responsible for keeping tissue cultures alive. So that she won't forget, she writes "feed cells" on her calendar. One day she noticed that someone had scribbled in "take cells for a walk."

By the end of the month, a number of anonymous reminders had been added:
Take cells to Disneyland...
Cells on vacation...
Cells back...

On Yom Kippur, someone added, "Jewish cells get the day off."

What do you get when you put a candle in a suit of armor?

A knight light.

What do you call a conductor who is always giving his orchestra grief?

A treble maker.

How long did the Thirty Years War last?

Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648. (You expected something else?)