Best Jokes

A man in a bar stood up and shouted, "Lawyers are Bullies!"

A guy at the other end of the bar shouted back, "I move to STRIKE!"

The first guy asked, "Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy responded, "No, I'm a BULLY!"

I was a flat-earther for 4 years...

Then I turned 5.

A cowboy is drinking at a saloon in the old west when suddenly, a man bursts through the swinging doors and yells, "Joe, Joe, your house is on fire! Hurry! Hurry!"

Upon hearing this, the cowboy rushes out the door, gets on his horse and begins riding away, before saying, "Hey, wait a minute, I ain't got no house!"

The cowboy then returns to the saloon; a few moments later, a man bursts through the swinging doors and yells, "Joe, Joe, your family has been captured by bandits! Hurry! Hurry!"

Upon hearing this, the cowboy rushes out the door, gets on his horse and begins riding away, before saying, "Hey, wait a minute, I ain't got no family!"

The cowboy returns to the saloon again; a few moments later, a man bursts through the swinging doors and yells, "Joe, Joe, you've just won a million dollars! It's waiting at the post office for you!"

Upon hearing this, the cowboy rushes out the door, gets on his horse and begins riding away, before saying, "Hey, wait a minute, my name ain't Joe!"

In Ancient Rome there were 4 types of poison.

Poison I, II and III would all kill you.

However Poison IV, would make you really itchy.