Best Jokes

A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourtee! Fourteen!

Husband: Why can’t you make bread like my mother?
Wife: I would if you could make dough like your father!

Doug had just formed his own rock band, and his little brother said one day,
“Doug, I wish you and your band could be on TV!”
“You think we’re good, eh?”
“Then I could turn you off!”

“Hello, Ginger!” Her brother called cheerily to his sister.
“Don’t call me Ginger!” she snapped furiously. “My hair is the color of gold.”
“Yeah,” he replied with a jeer, “twenty-two carrots!”