Best Jokes

One friend to another, “My husband is man of rate gifts.”
“That’s nice.”
“He hasn’t given me a present in twenty-five years of marriage…”

“I’m not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,” said the judge to the prisoner on trial, “so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged.”
“Oh, good,” said the prisoner, “does that mean I can keep the money?”

“Sir, there’s a debt collector in the outer office.”
“Tell him he can take that pile on my desk”

“How long will be the next bus be, Officer?”
“About eight yards, sir.”