Best Jokes

Did you hear what happened to the optometrist?

He fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said.

The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."

"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

Q: What happens to a person when they're lost in a cornfield?

A: They get cornfused.

Three men were sitting on a bench in heaven discussing how they died. The first man said "I died of cancer." The second man said, "I died of tuberculosis". The third man said "I died of seenus". The first two men said, "No, you mean sinus." The third man said "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"