Best Jokes

The moving man was struggling to get a large bureau up the stairs.
“Why don’t you get Tom to help you?” Asked the moving foreman, to which the man answered, “Tom is inside carrying the clothes.”

“I’d like some really tight jeans.”
“Certainly, sir. Will you walk this way?”
“If they’re as tight as yours I’ll probably have to.”

A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, “Can I have a mouse trap, please? And will you be quick, I’ve a bus to catch!"

“Sorry, ma’am,” said the assistant, “we don’t sell ‘em that big!”

A man tell his friend, “I went to my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking”
“What did he say?”
“He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.”
“Did that do any good?”
“No – I can’t get the chocolate to light.”