Best Jokes

The moving man was struggling to get a large bureau up the stairs.
“Why don’t you get Tom to help you?” Asked the moving foreman, to which the man answered, “Tom is inside carrying the clothes.”

“I’d like some really tight jeans.”
“Certainly, sir. Will you walk this way?”
“If they’re as tight as yours I’ll probably have to.”

One friend to another, “My husband is man of rate gifts.”
“That’s nice.”
“He hasn’t given me a present in twenty-five years of marriage…”

“I’m not at all satisfied with the evidence against you,” said the judge to the prisoner on trial, “so I shall find you not guilty. You are discharged.”
“Oh, good,” said the prisoner, “does that mean I can keep the money?”