Latest Jokes

One night I woke myself up with a loud "Hello!" to someone in my dream. As the next day came and went, I thought the nocturnal outburst was mine alone to remember.

But that night, as my wife and I were getting ready for bed, she said dryly, "If you see anyone you know tonight, just wave."

A woman shipped an expensive gift to her best friend. A few days later her best friend replied with a thank you card but forgot to write something on the inside.

When her friend brought this to her attention, to escape embarrassment she said, "When I saw how much you spent on that gift... I WAS SPEECHLESS!"

A drunk appears in front of a judge.

The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."

The drunk, a bit surprised, says, "Okay, let's get started!"