(German Sheppard parents to their puppy named Max) Max you'll need to keep your nose to the grindstone and become a working dog if you want to have a bright future.
(Max the puppy) But my friend has kept his nose to the grindstone and he doesn’t have a job.
(Mother replies) Not really Max, your friend Arf Arf is just a Pug.
The Phone Rings….
(Daughter) Hi Mom!
(Mother) Honey, I haven’t head from you in months, is everything OK?
(Daughter) I just wanted to let you know I’m in my 3rd trimester.
(Mother) You’re PREGNANT?!?!
(Daughter) Nooooo! I went off to college remember?