Latest Jokes

Max was worried. Sam, his loyal deli customer every day for thirty years, doesn't show up. Max loves Sam. Every day at the deli he gives him the best cuts, charges him the least, treats him like family.

So on the second day, his absence is again concerning. When he doesn't show up on the third day, Max is almost beside himself. The fourth day brings more agony with Sam's disappearance. On the fifth day, Friday, pacing back forth, not knowing what to do, he glances across the street at his competitor's deli. Through the window, he sees Sam at the deli counter right across the street.

Max tears off his apron, storms across the thoroughfare, and confronts Sam. "What are you doing? For thirty years you've been my customer. I've given you the best cuts for your meals, I've charged you next to nothing, I've treated you like my closest family! How could you show so little loyalty after all this time?"

"Relax," says Sam, "don’t worry. On Monday I had a root canal. The dentist said I should eat on the other side for a few days.”

A man entered a diner and ordered a large bowl of soup. A big horse fly then flew into the bowl. The startled man saw the fly, then retorted to the waiter. "Look at this bowl, what do you see? A horse fly right? What is it doing in my soup?"

The waiter, not sure how to reply, said, "I'm not sure, but it looks like the backstroke to me."

If a criminal sells illegal tennis rackets on the black market...

Does that make him guilty of racketeering?

Two boys were fishing on the bank of a river. The one boy remarked that being a visionary must be very difficult. He went on to say much more and added that visionaries are seldom understood in they're life time.

The other boy replied, "Then you must be a visionary, cause I have no idea what you’re talking about!"