Latest Jokes

1 votes

A little girl picks up the phone, “Hello?”

“Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?” Daddy asks.

“No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”

After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”

“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”

Dad takes a second to process this, then speaks. “Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it, Daddy!”

“And what happened, honey?” he asked.

“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”

“Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?”

“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.”

A long, silent pause. Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? … Is this 486-5731?”

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Dana" |
0 votes

Male job interviewer: "Last name?"
Attractive blonde interviewee: "Pelling... P...E...L...L...I...N...G..."
Interviewer: "Marital status ?"
Interviewee: "Single, no kids."
Interviewer, after pausing to 'check her out', asks: "Are you purposely miss-spelling?"

0 votes

CATEGORY Office Jokes
posted by "rvsmithif2bs" |
0 votes

One day a drunk minister gets pulled over by a police officer.

Police Officer: Have you been drinking alcohol?

Minister: No, sir. Just this bottle of water.

Police Officer: That looks like a bottle of Chardonnay to me.

Minister: (looking up) Sweet Jesus! You've done it again!

0 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
0 votes

A man rolls on the couch, clutching his knee in agony. His wife asks him, "What's the matter dear?”

The man replies, "I have got a splitting headache in my knee."

0 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Niel" |