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Favorite this joke I could not believe that the statue wasn't made from stone. Next time I won't take art for granite.
A judge convicted and sentenced a man to serve five consecutive life terms in prison. When the judge asked if there was anything he wanted to help pass the time, the man replied... A Perpetual Calendar!
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck, buddy, I had that done when I was born... Couldn't walk for a year."
One fly says to another fly: "Psst. Hey your man is open!"
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