Latest Jokes

I want to feel your sweet embrace but don't take that paper bag off your face!

As soon as the dentist asked the patient to sit down, he pulled out his wallet. Seeing this the dentist said, "Please don't, you don't need to pay me now."

The patient answered: "Pay you! I just want to count my money before I'm unconscious!"

God made a man and then rested.

God made a woman and then no one rested.

A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, "I want to see the Eye/Ear doctor."

"There is no such doctor " she tells him. "Perhaps you would like to see someone else?"

"No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor," he says.

"But there is no such doctor," she replies. "We have doctors for the eyes and doctors for the ear, nose and throat, but no eye-ear doctor."

He repeats, "I want to see the eye-ear doctor."

They go around like this for a few minutes and then the nurse says: "Comrade, there is no eye-ear doctor, but if there were one, why would you want to see him?"

"Because," he replies, "I keep hearing one thing and seeing another."