Latest Jokes

Two truck drivers came to a low bridge. The clearance sign said 10 feet 8 inches. When they got out and measured their truck, they discovered their vehicle was eleven feet. The first man looked at the other and said, “I can’t see any cops around. Let’s go for it!”

An aspiring actor calls his agent from the set of his first film. He is playing the lead role for the first time in his career. “How’s it going?” the agent asks. “It’s amazing!” the actor gushes. “The director told me that my performance is making him consider two films with me.” “Two?” he agent replies. “Yeah,” the actor says, “my first and my last.”

“Grandpa, do you mind if I play my new harmonica in here?” asked little Phil.
“Of course not, Phil. I love music. In fact, when your grandma and I were young, music saved my life. “What happened?” ask Phil. Well, it was during the famous Johnstown flood. The dam broke and when the water hit our house it knocked it right off the foundation. Grandma got on the dining room table and floated out safely.”
“How about you?” “Me? I accompanied her on the piano!”

“What special skills do you have?” a company official asked a job applicant. “Well, none, actually,” admitted the applicant. We have several unskilled positions, but they’re all filled right now by the president’s relatives.”