Yo mamma so dumb...
...that she tried to put M&Ms in alphabetic order
...she put paper on the television and called it pay-per-view
...she went to an orthodontist to get a Bluetooth
Guy tells his wife: For your birthday, how about a new car?
Guy: How about a new boat?
Guy: Well then, what do you want?
Wife: I want a divorce.
Guy: I wasn’t planning on spending that much money.
Why should you never mention the number 288 in a polite conversation?
Because it’s too (two) gross!
My friend asked me to help him with his crossword puzzle as he was struggling with 4 across.
"What's the clue?" I asked.
"Overworked postman," he said.
"How many letters?"