Wife: "I wish I were Juliet, and I had a Romeo..."
Husband: "If you would have been Juliet, I don't think Romeo would've chosen to die."
A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
He drinks the beer and then orders another saying, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”
The bartender looks confused but gives him another beer.
This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?”
The man answers, “Now the problems start!”
What do you call a person wearing ear plugs?
Anything you want. They can't hear you.