A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.
"Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
While shopping in the produce department of the local grocery store, a demanding customer asked to have a watermelon cut in half.
I told the lady that we don't normally do this. After being pushed for about five minutes, I took the melon to the backroom and said to my co-worker John, "I need this cut in half so this mean lady can buy it."
I did not know that she had followed me to the backroom. I turned around and quickly said, "And this lady would like the other half!"