entertainment jokes

Category: "Entertainment Jokes"
3 votes

A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?"

The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?"

"No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it!"

3 votes

posted by "AllAboutHappiness" |
$10.00 won 3 votes

A PhD student, a post-doc, and their professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the PhD student.

“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman.”

Poof! He’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.”

Poof! He’s gone.

“You’re next,” the Genie says to the professor.

The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.”

3 votes

Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "AllAboutHappiness" |
1 votes

After a hard day at work I decided to ride my bicycle to town to wind down a bit. I came into town and decided I’d go in the liquor store to get a bottle of scotch. I came out of store and since my bike had a basket in front, I put bottle in there.

It occurred to me that if I fell over with the bike, the bottle of scotch would break. So I decided to drink scotch an then head home. So I did.

Good thing too, as I fell over 10 times on the way home.

1 votes

posted by "Herb Glanzer" |
$25.00 won 8 votes
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Which race has no running?

A swimming race.

8 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Clown" |