A community orchestra was plagued by attendance problems. Several musicians were absent at each rehearsal. As a matter of fact, every player in the orchestra had missed several rehearsals, except for one very faithful oboe player.
Finally, as the dress rehearsal drew to a close, the conductor took a moment to thank the oboist for her faithful attendance.
She, of course, humbly responded, "It's the least I could do... especially since I won't be at the performance."
The Prince asked the beautiful Princess... "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said "NO!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
Robin came home from her first day commuting into the city. Noticing that Robin was looking a little peaked, her mom asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"
"Not really," Robin replied. "I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."
"Poor dear," the mom said. "Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"
"I couldn't," Robin replied, "there was no one there."