misc jokes

I was mailing a letter at my local post office when I noticed my not so bright neighbor talking into an envelope.

I ask her what she was doing?

She replied, without missing a beat, "Sending voicemail... "

A group at a MENSA (IQ 150+) meeting were having lunch at a local restaurant when one noticed that the salt shaker was filled with pepper and the pepper shaker was filled with salt.

After a lengthy discussion they determined that they could swap the contents to match the correct shakers. All they needed was a straw and an empty saucer.

They called over their waitress (IQ much less than 150) and pointed out their concerns. Without hesitation she switched the lids, said "problem solved", and walked away from the now shocked and silenced Mensa table.

A good speech needs a good beginning and a good ending...

... and they should be as close together as possible.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Archilles' elbow...