During the final exam, the professor noticed that Billy Walters kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor no other choice than to interrogate the student's test-taking habit.
"Mr. Walters," the professor began. "Is there something interesting written on your palm?"
"Not at all," Billy replied. "It's all pretty boring."
Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.
"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p.m.," a ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p.m."
"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.
The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"
"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."
A cop pulls a guy over for speeding. The guy tries to defend himself by saying, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."
The Cop replies, "Ever go fishing?"
"Yeah."
"Ever catch ALL the fish?"
My friend is a Genie in a bottle.
One day he came home from work frustrated with his current master. I asked why.
He replied, "I don't know, he just rubs me the wrong way."