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Favorite this joke I was talking with my mother-in-law about our daughter's picky eating habits.
"She refuses to eat fish," I told her. "Any recommendations for a replacement?"
She thought a moment, then answered, "Cats. They love fish."
Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it?
Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground!
Master: You will have to wash it again!
Servant: Again, Sir?
Master: I'm a stickler for cleanliness. So anything that falls on the ground has to be washed with soap and water.
Servant: I'll remember that.
The next morning...
Servant: Sir, here is your newspaper.
Master: Yes! But why is it soaking wet, You idiot?
Servant: While i was bringing it to you i dropped it on the ground.... But I remembered your instructions and washed it thoroughly with soap and water.
You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You keep knocking on your own front door.
9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.
8. You ask for soft, high fiber candy only.
7. Someone drops a candy bar in your bag and you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say: "Great Boris Karloff Mask," and you're not wearing a mask.
5. The door opens, you yell "Trick or..." but you can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that doesn't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You keep having to go home to use the bathroom.
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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