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Favorite this joke A male brain and a female brain were for sale at a scientist convention.
Which brain was more expensive?
The male brain was more expensive because it had never been used.
Tommy had reached school age. His Mom worked hard to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him lots of new clothes, told him of the new friends he'd meet, and so on.
The first day of school, he eagerly set off. When he came back home he had a lot of glowing reports about school!
Next morning his Mom woke him up saying, "Tommy, it's time to get ready for school."
Tommy said, "What? Again?"
AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
BMW
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
DODGE
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again, Tony!
FORD
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research & Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. & Ron`s DNA
backwards -> Driver Returns On Foot
MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.
TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).
GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff it into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.
FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend from ceiling with stout cord. Get the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal.
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