What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look. I'm changing.
Him: "My mother told me that every time you have an impure thought, an angel smacks you on top of the head."
Her: "That would explain why so many men go bald!"
What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him.
Under his name badge they printed "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented.
The Pastor responded by saying, "I usually am called the 'shepherd of the sheep'... but you know you people better than I do."