Best Jokes

One day a large number of forest animals were watching two skunks having a knock-down, drag-out argument.

The argument was pretty even, so they each turned their backs on the other and let go with their odor, spraying each other.

An old bear standing on the side said, “I guess they each had to get in their two scents worth.”

An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.

"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.

"Yes," he replied.

"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shimmying up and down that drainpipe!"

A couple were travelling on a flight. An air hostess approaches the man, with an attractive lady following right behind her, and asks, "Sir, would you like an upgrade?"

He replied, "Oh yes, thank you."

The air hostess turns to his wife and says, "Get up, let her sit here."

Just before the final exam in a college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached the professor.

“Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.

The professor gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”

“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”