Best Jokes

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: "We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?"

The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: "Isn't there a proverb, something about not marrying in haste? Why are you two in such a hurry?"

Dragging his bride after him, Giorgio rushes out into the street: "We double parked!"

During the historic first manned mission to Mars, two Astronauts were charting the Martian surface.

"Look at that," said one to the other, "how beautiful this alien landscape is, untouched by man."

At that point, he was cut off, as he found his radio communications knocked out by unknown interference. They followed the source of the interference until they reached the rim of a crater. "Do you see what the source of that noise is?" asked the first astronaut.

"I don't know," said the second, "but it might be coming from that Starbucks behind you."

Man: Baby, you so fine, I want to be different and give you this here line.

Woman: This ain't a line, this is a folded up piece of paper!

Man: Please open the paper and say what you see.

Woman: What is this, all I see is a line???!!!

Man: Yes, and if you put it to your ear, it will be a line you never heard before!