Best Jokes

Al: I got fired from my job as a bank guard.

Sam: What happened?

Al: A thief came into the bank. I drew the weapon and told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.

Sam: What did he do then?

Al: He took one more step, so I let him have it. Who wanted that stupid old gun, anyway?

Sign at a Farmers Market:

"Eggs so fresh, the hens haven’t missed them yet!"

“Your Honor,” said the smartest lawyer in the world, “my client is not guilty. He merely inserted his arm into a window and stole some jewelry. His arm is not himself. I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by one arm.”

“I agree,” nodded the judge. “I hereby sentence the defendant’s arm to one year in prison. He may accompany the arm or not.”

“Thank you, Your Honor,” said the defendant as he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

What is Kylo Ren's favorite car make?

Han-Die.