Best Jokes

Constant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief from having to clean up the bathroom after each of my three teenage children.

After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "Please leave the bathroom as you found it."

I noticed the bathroom was in the usual mess after my son used it, so I called, "Brian, how did you find the bathroom?"

After a brief pause, he replied, "Straight down the hall, first door on the right."

If you can’t find a lawyer who knows the law...

Find a lawyer who knows the judge!

''Say, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?'' asked one drunk to his friend at the next bar stool.

''Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much,'' answered the equally wasted gent.

“Ah hell, whaddya know, I've been married to one of those for years and years now.''