Best Jokes

If you can’t find a lawyer who knows the law...

Find a lawyer who knows the judge!

''Say, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?'' asked one drunk to his friend at the next bar stool.

''Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk way too much,'' answered the equally wasted gent.

“Ah hell, whaddya know, I've been married to one of those for years and years now.''

Al: I got fired from my job as a bank guard.

Sam: What happened?

Al: A thief came into the bank. I drew the weapon and told him that if he took one more step, I’d let him have it.

Sam: What did he do then?

Al: He took one more step, so I let him have it. Who wanted that stupid old gun, anyway?

Sign at a Farmers Market:

"Eggs so fresh, the hens haven’t missed them yet!"