Best Jokes

During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII.

“We have regular numbers on our keyboard,” she explained. “No Roman numerals.”

Upon getting his own apartment, my brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later, she asked him how the mixer was working for him. "Not very good," Terry said, "the potatoes keep flying all over the kitchen."

After a perplexed pause, his mother asked, "Terry, did you cook the potatoes first?"

To which a surprised Terry responded, "You have to cook the potatoes first?"