Best Jokes

A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, "So how ya doing?"

The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says, "uh....I'm fine."

Then the stranger in the next stall says, "So where are you headed?"

Again the man, a little nervous answers, "Uh...I'm headin north to Dallas."

Then the stranger asked, "So what have you been up to?"

Again the man answers, "Not much, I'm actually on a business trip."

The man sat there waiting for another question when finally he heard the stranger in the next stall impatiently say, "Look, I'm going to have to call you back, some idiot in the next stall thinks I'm talking to him."

A dad grew increasingly displeased as his teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing his patience, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.

"I have to ask you to move your car," the father exclaimed.

"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"

"No," the dad replied, "it's at the wrong address."

After a hard day at work I decided to ride my bicycle to town to wind down a bit. I came into town and decided I’d go in the liquor store to get a bottle of scotch. I came out of store and since my bike had a basket in front, I put bottle in there.

It occurred to me that if I fell over with the bike, the bottle of scotch would break. So I decided to drink scotch an then head home. So I did.

Good thing too, as I fell over 10 times on the way home.