Best Jokes

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

MONDAY:
Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY:
Fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when my friends came over for supper.

WEDNESDAY:
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY:
New salad recipe: prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. This led to the neighbors wondering whey why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When
I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out another new recipe on. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to do a Chocolate Moose.

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box.

"It's my wife's birthday tomorrow." Doug said. "Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday."

"And???" Bill asked.

"Well, she said 'Oh, I don't know just give me something with diamonds in it'."

"So what did you get her?" asked Bill.

"I bought her a deck of cards!!"

If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?