Best Jokes

A couple college kids, Stan and Ryan, are riding to school on a Chicago subway train when a homeless man approaches and begs for spare change. Stan adamantly rejects the man in disgust while Ryan, on the other hand, pulls out his wallet and gives the man two dollars and wishes him the best.

The homeless man thanks Ryan kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Stan is outraged by his friend’s act of generosity. “What the heck did you do that?” shouts Stan. “You know he’s probablyonly gonna use it for drugs or booze!”

Ryan replies, “And we weren’t?”

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but now in New Hampshire.

After a long pause, he grunted and said, "That's good. I couldn't take another one of these Maine winters."

The genie asked, "What's your first wish?"

Steve said, "I wish I was rich!"

The genie nodded and said, "Done, what's your second wish?"

Rich replied, "I want lots of money!"