Best Jokes

One day long ago, a Czechoslovakian came to visit his friend in New York. When asked what he wanted to see the Czechoslovakian replied, "I would like to see one of the zoos in America."

To his delight, the New Yorker took him to the zoo. While they were touring the zoo, and standing in front of the gorilla cage, one of the gorillas busted out of the cage and swallowed the Czech whole.

Shocked, his friend from New York quickly called over the zoo keeper. He quickly explained the situation and ask the zoo keeper what he planned to do. The zoo keeper asked the man, "Okay, which gorilla did it? Was it the male or the female?"

Pointing out the female as the culprit, the zoo keeper then opened up the mouth of the female, looked inside, but found no signs of the Czech.

With which the man from New York shrugged and said, "Guess the Czech is in the male."

"My wife and I have always had a give and take relationship but since we had the baby she seems to have learned how to soften me up and gets her way more often which I'm very OK with really."

"Changed behavior is usually learned behavior; whose she been hanging out with lately?" asked my best friend.

"The Baby."

A man on a business trip to Florida decided to play golf on Saturday. Half way through the first 9 he knocked a ball off the course. After retrieving it he noticed the four guys playing behind him were looking at him the same time three of them were giving the fourth one five bucks each.

“Were you guys betting on me?" asked the Out-of-Towner.

The guy with cash in hand said, “Let me put it this way, when locals hit one in the rough we leave it there.”