Best Jokes

Passenger: What good is your timetable, the trains are never on time!

Conductor: And how would you know they were late if it wasn’t for the timetable?

Mrs. Smith: My husband's face fell a mile when he first saw the Grand Canyon.

Mrs. Jones: Was he that disappointed?

Mrs. Smith: No, he fell into the canyon.

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy...

If it benefits you, it is tax reform.

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9 A.M., on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him. "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself," he said.

The boss replied, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you an entire hour?"