On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read...
"The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
"Do you believe marriage is a lottery?"
"No... it's not. In a lottery, a man is supposed to have a chance."
They told me, "Follow your dreams..."
So I went back to bed.
A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.
After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”
One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."