Best Jokes

1 votes
 

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read...

"The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

1 votes

CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Susan Paetznick" |
1 votes
 

"Do you believe marriage is a lottery?"

"No... it's not. In a lottery, a man is supposed to have a chance."

1 votes

1 votes

They told me, "Follow your dreams..."

So I went back to bed.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "aod318" |
$9.00 won 1 votes

A group of extraterrestrials were sent to earth to monitor and/or stop the use of nuclear weapons. The first creature they made contact with was a chimpanzee. Mistakenly they mistook the chimp as being the dominant species of planet earth.

After scanning the chimp one of them looked at the others and said, “This must be a mistake, perhaps we’re on the wrong planet.”

One of the other Aliens said, “You may be right. It’s obvious these beings are far too intelligent to use nuclear power in a destructive way."

1 votes

CATEGORY Scifi Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Marty" |