Best Jokes

A man walking in the forest feels close enough to God to ask, "God, what is a million years to you?"

God replies, "My son, a million years to you is like a second to me."

The man asks, "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

God replies, "My son, a million dollars to you is less than a penny to me. It means almost nothing to me."

The man asks, "So God, can I have a million dollars?"

And God replies, "In a second."

What did one computer say to the other?

0101010101010101010101

Four activists wearing leather jackets got out of their Hummer and threw eggs at us. I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I think they're with PETA.

Patient: "My problem is too much sleeping. I fall asleep as soon as I enter a bus."
Doctor: "So what? It is not at all a problem to sleep in a bus."
Patient: "But who is going to drive it if I'm asleep?"