Daughter: " I don't like the boy you found for me... his teeth are not in order and he looks ugly when he smiles."
Mother: "Don't worry about that. He will not be smiling after he marries you."
Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey -- Nice bike! Where did you get it?"
"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on
this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes, and says 'You can have ANYTHING you want!'"
"Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyways."
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating!"
The Irish gave the Scots the Bagpipes as a cruel joke that was taken seriously.