Best Jokes

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the old Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed between the pages. “Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

A man and his wife had been arguing all day. As evening approached, they decided it would be best if they didn't speak for a while.

The evening passes and as they are reading themselves for bed, the husband remembers that he has an early morning meeting. Not wanting to be the first to break their silence, he writes a note, asking his wife to wake him at 6 AM, then leaves it on her makeup table where she is certain to see it.

He goes to bed with a smile on his face, knowing that when she woke him, she wold speak first and loose the argument.

He wakes in the morning and is angered to see that it is after 9. He stalks to his wife's makeup table to see if she had seen his note.

Next to the note he had written was a note she wrote. It said, "Wake up!"

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball....

Two men were playing golf one morning. One of them was on the green preparing to putt when a funeral procession started passing on the road next to the golf course. The man preparing to putt paused from his game and bowed his head respectfully until the procession had passed.

When he finished his putt, his partner remarked, "That was really respectful of you to pause for that funeral procession!"

His buddy replied, "Well, I was married to her for 35 years!"