Best Jokes

The prison officer tells the warden, “Sir, I have to report that ten prisoners have broken out.”

The alarmed warden says, “Blow the whistles, sound the alarms, alert the police!"

With a surprised look the officer says, “Shouldn’t we call the doctor first? It looks as if it might be measles."

The pastor was greeting folks at the door after the service. A woman said, “Father, that was a good sermon.”

The priest replied, “Oh, I have to give the credit to the Holy Spirit.”

“It wasn’t THAT good!” she said.

My family wants me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes...

But I can't quit cold turkey!

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same... while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?