My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix.
I said, “No, only for the next couple of hours.”
93% of dog owners are convinced their dogs can smile.
The 7% who don't are afraid if they do smile, they may need braces.
A friend of mine told me about the book club she joined.
It's called, "Read between the wines."
Doctor: "I'm afraid you suffer from obesity."
Patient: "Yes, it runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, nothing runs in your family."