Best Jokes

Question: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles?

Answer: Take off your glasses.

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
2. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
3. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

4. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
5. Make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later start all over again.
6. To hang up more clothes buy bigger door knobs.

7. Sweep the room with a glance.
8. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
9. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby cre ating a romantic atmosphere.
10. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.

Cindy is 5' 7" tall. She works in a butcher shop and wears size 7 shoes.

What does Cindy weigh?

Answer: Meat.

Why did the cat go for a walk on the beach at night on Christmas eve?

He wanted to get sandy claw.