Best Jokes

A man walks into a dentist office for his third filling that week. He goes into the examination room, sits back in the chair, and waits for the dentist to come in.

She walks through the door and before she begins, she says, "You know the drill."

An accountant is in a car traveling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large group of sheep and the farmer says, "You're pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?"

The accountant looks at the sheep for a moment and says, "One thousand, eight hundred and thirty two."

The farmer is amazed. "Exactly right," he says. "How did you work that out so fast?"

"Easy," says the accountant, "I counted the number of feet and divided by four."

Where would you find a doctor whose job it is to declare a person dead?

At the coroner store.

How can you identify a blind pirate?

He's the one with patches over both eyes.