Question: What can you get if you have 50 cent?
Answer: Hip-Hop and Rap.
The widow requested that her husband's grave be dug 20 feet deep.
"Deep down he was a good man," she explained.
Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Dilbert, Dogbert, Garfield, Jon Arbuckle, and a whole lot of comic strip characters and their pets were on an airplane flying from Miami to Los Angeles.
In the middle of the flight, the flight attendant gave out food to everyone but Charlie Brown and Snoopy. They asked him why everyone else got some food and they didn't.
The flight attendant said, "Sorry, but we don't serve PEANUTS on this flight."
A man was going bald and told his friends he was going to get a rabbit tattooed on his head as it was a lot cheaper than an implant or a toupée.
His friends asked how getting a rabbit tattooed on his head would help?
The man replied, "Well, at least from a distance it will look like hare."