When Ruth's grandson Jordan was 5, he always told everyone he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. One day he was running through the house and into the corner of a chair and hurt his eye. He cried for a while and kept saying, "Oh no, oh no, now I can't be a doctor when I grow up."
Ruth assured him he could still be a doctor and Jordan kept telling her he couldn't.
Finally, she asked, "Why can't you be a doctor?"
Holding one hand over his eye, Jordan said, "Because now I will have to be a pirate!"
What is the difference between dogs and marine biologists?
One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale.
They say that "a problem shared is a problem halved..."
I'm not too sure about that as last night I told my wife that my girlfriend was pregnant.
A little boy said he wanted a baby brother. His Dad smiled and suggested he pray for one.
The boy prayed earnestly, night after night, but after a couple weeks with no baby brother, he didn't bother to ask anymore.
A few months later Dad said Mom was in the hospital and had a surprise. When they got to the room, the little boy saw Mom holding two babies!
"Well, what do you think about having twin brothers?" Dad asked.
The little boy, in awe, said: "I'm glad I stopped praying when I did!"