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Favorite this joke I have planned out my Valentine's Day:
1) Awaken, and have breakfast in bed.
2) Chocolates for lunch.
3) Watch a romantic movie.
4) Dinner for two at a romantic restaurant.
5) Regret eating two dinners.
A man and a woman are having a date.
The woman remarks, “You know, you look totally like my third husband!”
The man is startled and asks, “Really, how many times have you been married?”
“Twice.”
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who went out to buy maps?
He came back with a tin of Spam.
My older brother, Lenny, loved to tell the story of what happened to our cocker spaniel, Inky.
It seems Lenny was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some parts for the transmission he was repairing. Distracted by a customer, he returned to his project to find Inky drinking the gasoline from the bowl. He yelled at the dog, who took off running. In fact, Inky ran around the house three times before finally falling over.
The neighbors came running over to see what had happened to Inky. "Is he dead?" asked our neighbor Ruth.
"No," Lenny replied. "I think he ran out of gas."
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