Best Jokes

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I didn't know being sick was a contest...

Until I got married.

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CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "aod318" |
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Teacher: Johnny, what is a protagonist?

Little Johnny: It’s when you’re playing tag with kids from another neighborhood and they bring in a ringer... they're a Pro-Tagonist.

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posted by "Marty" |
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At school my friend told me he was being bullied by two guys. I was visibly upset and steaming around the collar. With a very stern look on my face and a forceful voice I said “Let’s go take care of this RIGHT NOW!”

My friend went on to say the very large but smaller of the two goes by the name G.O. Rilla and the other guy is called Gigantophithecus.

He told me he thinks the big one got that name because you can only see a baseball size patch of skin on his face the rest is covered by thick wire like hair. He went on to say he thinks the guy has been held back in school about six or seven times.

My friend was quite concerned about seeking them out and asked if I knew a defense art form he wasn’t aware of.

I replied, “In fact I do, it’s called the art of diplomacy. We’re going to hire them as personal body guards. I get twenty bucks a week allowance, how about you?”

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CATEGORY School Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
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"Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine."

"It helped you, did it?" asked the doctor very much pleased.

"It helped me wonderfully."

"How many bottles did you find it necessary to take?"

"Oh, I didn't take any of it. My uncle took one bottle, and I am his sole heir."

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CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |