Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Jack and his friend walk into a restaurant when they happen to bump into the Jack’s former teacher.
Introducing his teacher, Jack says, “This is Mr. Miller, my high school teacher who always used to correct me and taught me everything I know.”
“Young man,” said Mr. Miller, “you mean I taught you everything you didn’t know, don’t you? I’m not in the habit of teaching students what they already know.”
- You consider McDonald's "real food."
- You actually like doing laundry at home.
- 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.
- It starts getting late on the weeknights.
- Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
- You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.
- You'd rather clean than study.
- Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.
- Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life.
- You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.
A man leaves on Friday to go to Chicago.
He stays three days and returns on Friday.
How was that possible?
Friday was the name of his horse.
Two nuns who worked in a hospital were out driving in the country when they ran out of gas. As they were standing beside their car on the shoulder of the road, a truck approached them.
Noticing the nuns in distress, the trucker stopped and offered to help. When the nuns explained they had run out of gas, the trucker said he would be more than happy to drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or a can.
Hearing this, one of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan from the trunk and asked the trucker if it would do. He said it would and proceeded to drain a couple of quarts into the pan. He then handed the pan to the sisters, got back into his truck and waved goodbye.
While the nuns were carefully pouring the precious fuel into their gas tank, a cop happened by. He stopped and watched them for a few moments, then said, "Sisters, somehow I don't think that's going to work, but I sure do admire your faith!"
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