Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn't working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was.
The husband replied, "In the five weeks that we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on a single thing."
The judge turned to the wife, "Have you anything to say?"
She answered, "It's been six weeks, your honor."
Claude, the invisible man, was low on funds and started job prospecting. His employment agency called him into their office with a job opportunity.
"I think this would be a great job for you," said the counselor. "A mirror salesman."
"I don't know," Claude replied. "I just can't see myself doing that."
A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said, "50 points for putting it back together correctly, and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."