Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A woman is walking along the beach with her children, appearing to be looking for something. At this moment, a lifeguard traipses up to them. "Excuse me, ma'am," he says. "I had noticed you seemed to be looking for something and wish to offer my help."
"Yes, my husband is missing," the woman replies with concern. "My kids buried him in the sand and now we can't find him."
"Do you remember where you were sitting recently?" the lifeguard asks. The woman looks up at him incredulously. "Don't be silly, would you have remembered where you were sitting a year ago?"
Be careful driving on the holidays.
The roads will be crazy.
A lot of guys get drunk so their wives will be driving.
Little Timmy loved his dog Laddie very much; they played together every day and Laddie was always there to greet Timmy when he came home from school.
One day, while Timmy was at school, Laddie crawled under the fence, ran out into the street and was hit by a car and killed. Timmy's mother, naturally, was very distressed, not only by the matter itself but from wondering how she was going to explain this to Timmy. As Timmy walked through the door a few moments later, his mother mustered up her courage to speak to him.
"Son, I have bad news. Laddie is dead."
Timmy paused thoughtfully for a moment, shrugged, then said, "So, what's for lunch, Ma? I'm starved."
"My, what a brave little boy you are!" his mother replies with relief. "You're certainly taking Laddie's death well."
Upon hearing this, Timmy suddenly bursts into tears, his body racking with sobs, and says, "I thought you said Daddy."
My aunt is a church official who organizes parishioners’ personal information.
Her job title is Nun of Your Business.
Free Daily Joke