Best Jokes

I'm at my boss's funeral, kneeling and whispering at the coffin...

"Who's thinking outside the box now, Gary?"

The benefits of serving green tea to guests:

1) You look rich.

2) You save on milk.

3) They won't ask for more.

4) They won't come back.

Frankie: "So, I took my girlfriend out for dinner at this fancy restaurant last night; she orders a bowl of soup, and wouldn't you know it, she finds a fly in her soup!"

Jeff: "Oh, that's awful! What did she do?"

Frankie: "Well, she turns to the waiter and calls, 'Waiter, remove this insect!"

Jeff: "And what happened then?"

Frankie: "He kicked me out the door."

My wife and I were stuck in traffic.

Frustrated, I looked at her and said: “I’m turning round.”

She replied: “I know - stop eating so many burgers.”