Best Jokes

Fred was about to go on a hunting trip when he noticed his 21 year old son Jack walking up to him. "Hey Dad," Jack asked. "Can I go hunting with you?" Fred had many reservations about this, but reluctantly agreed.

Upon arriving at the hunting site, Fred carefully sat Jack safely up in the tree stand and told him, "If you see a deer, aim carefully and I'll run back as soon as I hear the shot." Jack obliged as Fred then left. Not ten minutes had passed when Fred suddenly heard an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Fred started running back; as he drew closer, he began to hear his son shouting, "Hey, get away from my deer!" Bewildered, Fred ran faster towards his screaming son, hearing another cry of, "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire.

Upon reaching the area, Fred was surprised to see a man with his hands in the air, standing across from his son. The man trembled a bit, then said, "Okay, you can have your deer, just let me take my saddle off of it first."

Sign outside a furniture store in northern Virginia:

ANTIQUE TABLES MADE HERE DAILY!

Mr. Benson: "Honey, last night I heard you complaining about me in your sleep."

Mrs. Benson: "Oh, that was just your imagination."

Mr. Benson: "My imagination? How so?"

Mrs. Benson: "That I was asleep."

Why is it that when you go grocery shopping, you can buy a loaf of bread in a plastic bag, a gallon of milk in a plastic bottle, turkey slices in plastic wrap, six apples in a plastic carton, a block of cheese in plastic wrap, and plastic bottles of ketchup and mustard.

But when you go to check out, they won't give you a plastic bag because it's bad for the environment?