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Favorite this joke Several elderly nuns were in their second floor convent one night when a fire broke out.
They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.
After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"
The nun replied, "Nah, don't you know old habits are hard to break!"
Anyone who says marriage is an equal partnership is talking utter bollocks.
I gave up my mates, my motorbike, drinking, drugs, gambling...
All she gave up was sex.
You know you've still got it when you're walking across the beach with your wife and there's a couple of young girls waving at you while she isn't looking.
There's no way that I was ever gonna swim out that far to save them though.
It's winter time, the gentle breezes blow,
Seventy miles an hour at twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love, when the snow's up to your butt,
You take a breath of winter and your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful so I guess I'll hang around...
I could never leave 'cause I'm frozen to the ground!
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