Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours...
So they decided to call it a day.
Why do pelicans hate taxes?
BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE THEY TURN, THEY STILL HAVE AN ENORMOUS BILL IN FRONT OF THEM!
I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep-human hybrids!
What is with ewe people!?
Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, "EOOOOOHAHHHHHMMMM-MMUUUUUUUUUOOOAAAAAAUUUU..."
The second whale turns to the first and says, "Frank, what the hell is wrong with you?"